Do not rebuke mockers or they will hate you; rebuke the wise and they will love you. 9Instruct the wise and they will be wiser still; teach the righteous and they will add to their learning. Proverbs 9:8-9
The semi-annual performance review was a feared ritual at the agency. Maurício, the creative director, was known for his brutal honesty. On that day, he called two of his most promising young designers into his office: Ronan and Adriano. Both had worked on the same project, and the feedback would be about the same set of flaws.
Ronan went in first. He was talented but arrogant. He saw himself as a misunderstood genius. Maurício was direct, pointing out the inconsistencies in Ronan’s design, the lack of attention to the details of the brief, the missed deadlines.
“That’s not fair!” Ronan reacted, his defensiveness turning into aggression. “It was the brief’s fault for not being clear! And Adriano didn’t help me enough!”
He used the criticism as a shield, deflecting every point with an excuse or an accusation. He was the mocker.
“Ronan,” Maurício said, his patience already wearing thin, “I am trying to help you grow.”
“I don’t need that kind of help,” Ronan retorted. “If you can’t see the value of my work, maybe I’m in the wrong place.”
He left the room, slamming the door, leaving behind an atmosphere of hostility. Maurício sighed. He had tried to rebuke the arrogant man, and it had turned into an affront. Ronan, instead of learning, spent the rest of the day complaining to his colleagues, hating Maurício for having dared to criticize him.
Next, it was Adriano’s turn. He entered the room nervous, but with an open posture. He knew the project had not been his best work.
Maurício repeated the same critique, point by point. Adriano listened in silence, his face focused. He did not interrupt. He made no excuses. He used the feedback as a mirror, forcing himself to see the flaws that his pride tried to hide.
When Maurício finished, Adriano took a deep breath.
“Thank you, Maurício,” he said, his voice sincere. “I needed to hear that. Where do you think I could have focused more? Do you have any advice on how I can better organize my process to avoid these mistakes in the future?”
He was the wise man. The rebuke did not diminish him; it instructed him.
Maurício leaned back in his chair, surprised and impressed. What had been a confrontation with Ronan became a mentoring session with Adriano. They spent the next hour talking, drawing new strategies on a whiteboard. Adriano left the room not with anger, but with gratitude. He had been rebuked, and because of it, he came to love and respect his director even more.
In the following months, the trajectories of the two became a case study.
Ronan, embittered, isolated himself. His work became sloppy, his attitude toxic. He saw conspiracies everywhere, believing that Maurício was “picking on him.” Eventually, he resigned, blaming the “agency’s culture” for his failure.
Adriano, on the other hand, flourished. He applied every piece of advice. He became more organized, more collaborative, wiser. He began to proactively ask for feedback. He and Maurício developed a relationship of deep mutual respect. A year later, when a team leadership position opened up, the choice was obvious.
Adriano learned, in practice, that criticism is not what defines us. How we react to it does. To the arrogant, it is an insult that breeds hatred. To the wise, it is a gift that breeds love and makes them wiser still.
(Made with AI)
This story is part of my book Everyday Wisdom






